Traditionally, Japanese men have bought schoolgirls' panties to fulfil their sordid whims. However, recent demographic trends have reduced the number of pre-loved undergarments available, while demand continues to swell. So in a bold move, the government yesterday ended decades of protectionism by lifting the ban on imports of used panties, opening the market for the first time to competition from overseas.
European design houses such as Louis Vuitton and Prada have been swift to act, announcing plans to launch lines of panties worn at exclusive finishing schools in really hot countries. And Maria Sharapova is considering opening a tennis academy to source panties, which will be sold with an accompanying photograph and personal testimony.
A spokesman for the Ministry of Trade said, 'The rising number of single middle-aged men, neets and geeks meant that supply just couldn't keep up with demand. As a patriot, I prefer fragrant Japanese maidenhood myself, but we have to recognise that globalisation has opened pervs' minds to a wide world of lingerie culture.'
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