Santa Isn't Coming to Town: Detained on Arrival as "Naughty/Nice" List Faces Scrutiny

Lapland toy distributor Santa Claus has been detained by officials at Narita Airport after attempting to enter Japan with what they say is suspect paperwork. The move is likely to disrupt Santa's schedule, causing delays to present deliveries planned for countries around the world.

A spokesman for the Immigration Bureau said, "While Santa's passport and visa waiver are in order, his list of naughty children is problematic. Japanese children are genetically incapable of being naughty, so to label them as such is a clear violation of their human rights."

Santa in detention yesterday

Santa's lawyer quickly issued a statement criticising the move. "My client and his team put significant effort into researching the list," it said, "then he checked it twice. And anyone who thinks Japanese children can't be naughty should meet my two little shits."

Santa is likely to remain in custody while officials check through the list of 22 million children for foreign names, as they may have been miscategorised as nice.