New Law Outlaws Spring Weather Complaints

A new bill was passed into law yesterday, making it an offence to complain about the weather between February 1st and May 30th each year. Offenders will face up to three years in prison, or deportation if they are foreign residents or visitors from overseas.

Proposing lawmaker Haru Daisuki explained to In Other News the rationale behind the Protection of National Cultural Identity (Spring Weather) Act. "Spring is the season of cherry blossoms, a treasured week in Japan," he said. "To suggest that the other three months of spring are imperfect is a vicious assault on the heart of the nation, and would be so even if it were ever cold and rainy, which never happens."

The weather in spring, every day, every year

One Saitama resident has already been detained by the Season Police under the new law, after being overhead allegedly muttering "samui" ("it's cold") on a snowbound station platform. He has been moved to an undisclosed location after an angry mob formed outside the station, chanting "Traitor! Traitor!" from under their umbrellas.