Correspondent: Cunning Punster
Japanese children face the sad prospect of a Christmas without presents, after Santa Claus was yesterday refused an entry visa. Immigration Bureau spokesman Kenji Okada confirmed that this was due to toughened quarantine restrictions applying to reindeer, and questions over duty payments on previous importation of presents.
`It`s bureaucracy gone mad!` fumed Santa from his Lapland workshop. `Those duty payments were perfectly in order, and my reindeer don`t pose any danger to Japanese people, unless they stand under the flightpath.`
Despite his protests, this is in fact not Santa`s first run-in with Japanese authorities. He was admitted last year only after investigators were satisfied that the elves at his workshop were not child labourers and were not being maltreated.
Santa still hopes to be allowed to enter on a visa waiver, but has been warned against trying to enter illegally. `We are committed to protect the skies against any intruders,` said Air Self Defence Force commander Yoshi Nagata. `Any incursion into Japanese airspace will be considered an act of aggression and dealt with accordingly.`
Public response has been disgruntled. `At first, my little boy was heartbroken,` said one Tokyo parent, `but I promised to dress up as Santa and give him some presents myself. That made him happy, the greedy little mercenary.`
Immigration officials remain steadfast. `We understand there will be some disappointment,` said Okada, `but this action was absolutely necessary to ensure a harmonious, disease-free Christmas for everyone. We hope that citizens` enjoyment of the festive season won`t be marred by Santa`s absence.`
