Monday 1 September 2014

Japan Plunges Into Scheduled Winter

Winter gripped Japan today as an arctic wind howled down from Siberia, in line with government policy that summer ends at midnight on 31st August each year. Within minutes of the clock striking, temperatures across the country plummeted to below freezing, and revelers were forced to seek shelter from blizzards which dumped meters of snow on cities nationwide.

Yesterday
The Japan Meteorological Agency were unsurprised by the sudden change. "This is a welcome return to clearly delineated seasons," said spokeswoman Yuki Gakitane. "For several hundred years the weather has stayed unseasonally warm into September and October, rather than changing instantly as Japanese tradition says it should.

Japanese citizens are advised to prepare for more severe weather, and perhaps worse. Polar bears have been sighted in Hokkaido as glaciers advance from the mountains, while rescue services are trying to reach motorists trapped in snowdrifts of up to three meters.

Mother Nature is already planning out the weather up to next summer. "I don't yet have exact dates," she said from her forest home, "but there'll be twelve days of red leaves and six of cherry-blossoms. I'll fax the exact dates to the JMA by next week."

Today