Passers-by Suffer Ear Injuries at Noise Pollution Protest

At a protest against noise pollution staged yesterday outside Sagami-Ono station in Kanagawa, a number of passers-by suffered injuries as serious as perforated eardrums, owing to the high volume of the protesters` PA system. Measurements indicate that the noise level reached 120 decibels, equivalent to a Boeing 747 flying through the station.

Organizer Shizuka Onegai explained the reasons for the protest. “People are tired of having their peace constantly disrupted by the ceaseless noise from announcements, military aircraft and store jingles,” she said. “Unfortunately, we weren`t getting peoples` attention just by using our loudhailers, so we decided to use our PA system, turned up to eleven.”

However, this also failed to get the message across. “I couldn`t hear a word of what they were saying,” said one Sagami-Ono resident. “The volume was so high that it was completely distorting the sound, then when I went to ask them to turn it down, I had to shout to make myself heard over their generator.”

Despite the harm to passers-by and the lack of response from the public, Onegai remained undeterred. “We do regret these injuries,” she said, “but we think this is the most effective way of conveying our message. We`ll continue to campaign long and loud for the sake of peace and quiet.”

Teams for Two: Japanese Baseball League to Reduce from Twelve Teams to Two

The Japan Baseball Federation has announced that from 2014, the number of professional baseball teams will be reduced from twelve to two. This will be achieved by mergers of the six teams making up each of the Central and Pacific Leagues, to leave two teams who will play each other 140 times a year to determine the championship.

At a press conference yesterday, Oyaji Nobaka of the JBF explained the reasoning behind the move. "Projections show that by 2050, the population of Japan will decline to 80 million," he said. "This is obviously far too small to support such a huge number of teams, so we`ve had to make this decision to secure the future of the sport."

However, fans across Japan are unhappy with the proposal. "It`s not going to be the same," complained Yakyu Otaku, a fan in Tokyo. "I`m going to miss the variety of all the many different team uniforms and players. I always change allegiance every year and become a fan of the champions, but now I might have to support the same team for more than one year."

Despite this reception from fans such as Otaku, Nobaka is confident that fans will come to accept the new format. "It may be difficult at first," he said, "but to provide some continuity for fans, we will be retaining the teams` names. I`m sure they`ll be there in their thousands to cheer on the Pacific GoldenHawkLionMarineBuffaloFighters and the Central GianStarTigerDragonSwallowCarps."