A Japanese couple are to hold a second wedding ceremony after their first was spoiled by constant correction and demands for repetition from the conversation school teacher acting as the priest.
Bride Ayaka Morinaga was deeply upset by the experience. 'He said my "love" sounded like "rub",' she explained, 'and he made me say "love, honour and obey" six or seven times until he was happy. I could tell he was happy because he was smiling.'
'We didn't really care if what we were saying was right or not. We just wanted the superficial romantic experience.'
The teacher was Aaron Huckleworth, a native of Arkansas provided for the occasion by Tokyo-based Pastors'R'Us. 'Teaching is my calling,' he told In Other News by telephone from the Hubgublers Pub in Roppongi. 'How can they be upset at getting a free lesson? Ingrates.'
This is not the first complaint received by Pastors'R'Us. At a society wedding last year, hip-hop DJ Slammo was found to be listening to his iPod while performing the ceremony, after asking the groom 'Do you take this ho to be your lawless wedded bitch?'
The Morinagas are looking forward to their second ceremony, and are taking steps to prepare beforehand. 'We've signed up for English lessons to practice,' said Ayaka, 'and I'm sure we'll learn everything we need from the Mormons.'
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