After completing this year's toy production, Santa has announced that from next year his manufacturing plants and distribution base will be relocated to Japan. He has already acquired a site in Hokkaido, and plans to become fully operational from March.
Speaking from his Lapland home, Santa told In Other News, "This has been forced on me by the global economic climate. European labour law makes it difficult to reduce costs, but in Japan I'll be able to exploit and abuse workers by coercion, bullying, and using the "foreign trainee" program."
Officials in Japan are delighted with the news. Trade Minister Nobaho Nao said, "This is exactly the kind of inward investment we hope to attract. Becoming home to such a prestigious multinational brand will make the electorate think we're doing a good job, without us having to actually do anything."
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