Some gaijin have been captured alive, and have spoken about their depraved non-Japanese actions to the media. "I just couldn't help it," said Mark Redditch, 26, a recruiter based in Saitama, fresh blood still dripping from his chin. "I was just riding on the train back from work, then my true foreign nature suddenly took me over, and I felt compelled to grab and eat the first baby I saw."
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| A gaijin eating a baby yesterday |
These shocking events have come as no surprise to some local observers. Gunma-based blogger Shinta Ishibara, 56, said, "I've been writing for years that it was inevitable that foreigners would one day embark on an orgy of baby-eating, but the liberal do-gooders just wouldn't listen. I hope the sight of baby-crazed gaijin gnawing on babies' tender arms makes them think twice."
A state of emergency has been declared, and families are advised to stay indoors as hordes of marauding baby-eating gaijin roam the streets. The Self-Defence Force have been deployed to maternity hospitals and pre-schools, with instructions to shoot on sight anyone who looks a bit foreign.
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