Government Pledges Continued Inaction

In light of its falling approval rating, the government has announced a raft of fresh strategies for procrastination and the evasion of tough decisions.


`We don`t wish to alarm the public with over-hasty action,` explained Cabinet Secretary Eiichi Nago, `so we promise a complete absence of bold new policy initiatives, and the formation of at least four committees before making any decision.`


He cautioned that this shouldn`t be taken to mean the government will be doing nothing. `Japan faces manifold challenges both at home and overseas,` he said, `and to avoid having to deal with them will involve careful mis-coordination between departments, well-planned buck-passing and skilled prevarication.`


Acting from generosity of spirit, the government ultimately hopes to allow future administrations to secure their own place in history. `It would be selfish of us to take the credit for addressing all the issues ourselves,` Nago explained. `Our aim is to leave for future generations of lawmakers an expansive legacy of opportunities.`