Correspondent: Guido Fitzpatrick
A Kanagawa homemaker has been hospitalized in a catatonic state after learning that a climate with four distinct seasons is not unique to Japan.
Saiko Yamada, 61, was attending an English class at the Dokkano-Machi branch of Let's Heartful Enjoy Language Academy when her teacher, Vermont native Mike Flynn, showed the class some photos of his hometown of Rutland taken in October of last year.
"I feel terrible," said Flynn outside Dokkano General Hospital. "If only I'd known she'd react that way. The brilliant fall colors are a point of pride for New Englanders, so I showed her the photos as part of a lesson focused on talking about your home town. Saiko's eyes suddenly became wide and she said 'That's in America? Is it always like that?' When I said 'Only in autumn,' she looked even more shocked and said 'You have autumn there?!' "
Surprised but still not suspecting that his student would become catatonic, Flynn began explaining about seasonal activities in his home state. "It was when I mentioned catching fireflies in the summer that her eyes started to glaze over, but I continued because that`s not really an uncommon reaction."
Dr. Ken Saiki, a psychiatrist specializing in culture shock-induced catatonia, surmises that Mrs. Yamada's condition can be cured with "appropriate audio-visual stimuli."
"She simply needs to regain the thought-patterns that preceded the catatonia. In this case that means the assumed non-existence of temporal climates over 99% of the earth's surface. This is essential if she is to regain her sense of cultural uniqueness and thus her mental health." He also added that foreign language schools should require instructors to avoid "potentially hazardous" topics such as the existence of four seasons, fall colors, and fireflies in foreign countries.
Mrs. Yamada is currently undergoing a treatment regimen of haiku, ukiyo-e, and Los Angeles travel videos.
No comments:
Post a Comment