Correspondent: Cunning Punster
Toshibishi Corporation yesterday announced that it is temporarily closing its entire network of holographic CGI Santa`s Grottoes installed in department stores and malls across the nation. This is in response to a flood of complaints from parents of children left confused and upset by their experiences.
It`s thought that a disgruntled former employee reprogrammed the central management system of the network, over-riding the traditional interaction program relating to presents, chimneys and being good little boys and girls. Instead of saying `Ho, ho, ho` the HoloSantas would greet children with `Oh no, not another one,` and the question `What would you like for Christmas?` was replaced with `Shouldn`t you be helping the world`s poor and disadvantaged instead of indulging in this obscene orgy of consumerism and gluttony?`
`My little girl cried for an hour,` lamented one parent in Yokohama. `She was looking forward to a nice chat with Santa, but instead she got a lecture about the plight of Somali refugees, and she started wanting to give money to charity instead of buying presents. It took me ages to convince her that`s not what Christmas is about.`
However, in an anonymous email sent to In Other News, the perpetrator remains unrepentant. `That`ll teach them to cut my hours,` said `Kurisu Kuringuru` in the email. `Of course, my main aim is to draw attention to the over-commercialisation of Christmas and the leaching away of its spiritual depth, but if they lose money closing the grottoes it`ll serve the bastards right. Peace.`
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