Wednesday 7 December 2011

Happy Fun Party Time, or Else

Correspondent: Cunning Punster


The government raised eyebrows last week by announcing that from 21st to 27th December, all residents of Japan will be required to wear Christmas costumes.  Anyone failing to wear the festive garb, to be issued shortly, will face an on-the-spot fine of Y50000.

`Our aim is twofold`, explained Cabinet Secretary Hosoyuki Hiroda, sporting reindeer antlers. `As well as boosting the domestic apparel industry, this demonstrates our heartfelt commitment to worldwide intercultural understanding.`

The plan has received a mixed reception from the public.  `I`m all for it,` said Eiichi Kuroitaka, a homeless man in Ueno Park.  `I usually get my Santa outfit from the trash on the 26th, so it`ll be nice to have a clean one.`

Predictably, right-wing groups are opposed.  `We`re totally outraged at this affront to Japanese dignity and culture,` said the driver of one nationalist minivan.  `However, we`re prepared to compromise by wearing Santa hats as we broadcast our patriotic message.  We don`t want to be complete party-poopers.`

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