Rail Operator Hires Gropers as Platform Staff

In a move which has polarised opinion among industry observers, nationwide rail operator Speedy Rail is targeting gropers to recruit as platform staff at its 385 stations. They aim to have at least one groper on duty at every station by the end of the quarter.

New recruits at work yesterday

Company spokeswoman Chika Nagogo explained the policy at a press conference yesterday. "These employees are happier to work unsocial hours than those with family commitments," she said. "They're also very familiar with schedules and with platform and train layouts, particularly the location of the women-only cars."

The company has been quick to address concerns about the security of female passengers. "These recruits can be identified by special large padded gloves," explained Ms Nagogo, "which have tight wristbands to reduce sensation in the hands and make groping less rewarding. The gloves also are less uncomfortable for passengers being pushed into a full train."